They might even have heard the startling news that God Himself sent the lover and that He wants them to be together. They found themselves listening to how terrible it is to be married to you, or how hypocritical they were to tell someone else to do right. Your church leaders tried, but had no success in righting the wrong behavior of your spouse. Maybe the paramour found a way to get to him or her, rekindled the passion and convinced your spouse that he or she will never be happy without them. If your spouse went back to the affair the second time, it seemed to have much more power over them than in the beginning.īy the time you broke your silence, things had evolved to an almost impossible situation. He or she tried to end the affair, and told you that they were willing to work on the marriage. Maybe your abandoning spouse had a period of hesitation. Maybe your spouse cajoled, or threatened, in a concerted effort to keep you from telling anyone what was happening. He or she did everything possible to keep you from going to your church leaders, their boss, your family, your in-laws, and maybe even your best friend. Secrecy helped them, not you, but because you thought there might be a chance to keep him or her calm and possibly stop this nightmare, you allowed yourself to be manipulated. Refuse to cooperate and you will find yourself in a bloody legal battle. Prepare for divorce. Cooperate and they will make things easy for you. He or she is in love with the other person.
When you confronted, denial reigned.Įventually, your mate told you that it’s over between the two of you. Maybe you checked the cell phone bill, read emails, found a note or letter in a pocket or purse, or, even worse, someone saw them and told you about it. If you suspected a particular person, your spouse reassured you that there was nothing going on and that this person is a friend…maybe even your friend…and it wasn’t fair to think that about them.įinally, you made the discovery that your spouse did have someone else. Sometimes your questions hit harder and your spouse reacted with anger or sarcasm, telling you that you’re paranoid. When you asked questions, the answers seemed a little too slick and too rehearsed. Then you began to vacillate, worrying that you must be right but telling yourself that surely you aren’t. You thought that you were imagining things, being insecure in thinking your spouse had someone else. Your spouse changed but you couldn’t quite explain the changes in a way that seemed to make sense to anyone else. You suspected it long before you knew it for sure.
“My spouse is in love with someone else.”
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